If you’re anything like me, you probably get nervous easily and may find yourself feeling anxious more often than not. I don’t mean the supposedly healthy, fight or flight response that nature and/or God designed to spring us into action in the midst of danger to protect us from harm. I mean serious and constant anxiety, which is more of who we are than a symptom, or the acute and sudden terror of panic attacks and the subsequent fear of when or where the next one might strike. Of course, the infinite paradigm of possible scenarios or outcomes for any given situation, would seem utterly insane to someone without this personality type. The irresistible urge to know “why”, “how”, and find out every possible detail about anything we do or topic we discuss likely drove friends, loved ones, and significant others crazy until they finally accepted, if not understood, how our over active minds work. 😉

You may know that social anxiety is linked to a high intelligence or that there’s a neurological correlation between being highly creative and mentally ill but what you may not know is that worrying – and overthinking in particular – has now been linked to creative genius. The pattern here is unmistakable: many of what people consider their worst traits are actually just the shadow sides of their greatest strengths. (What a thing to consider) In light of the latest research, here’s a breakdown of why worrying incites genius – and how maybe you can tap into it yourself.

http://thoughtcatalog.com/brianna-wiest/2015/10/8-reasons-why-overthinkers-and-worriers-are-usually-creative-geniuses-according-to-science/

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Stress Rash

The photo shown above is my remaining “stress rash” FOUR HOURS after it arrived!!!  “Stress rash” is my unofficial, layman’s term for what happens to my skin right before, during, and/or after periods of intense anxiety, stress, sadness, or pretty much any extreme emotional reaction.  

It normally affects my chest, ears, and neck the most, but may also be visible on my legs or even my arms, in more severe cases.  

It usually starts to fade away shortly after the situation which caused it has ended.  However, there are rare circumstances which are so devastating that the physical effects may linger long after the causative situation has ended.  I suppose that could signify a greater possibility of long term ramifications from the rash’s origin.  That is my current theory.

Does anyone else experience this annoying and embarrassing physical manifestation of emotions?  I HATE it SO much because it makes it VERY difficult or impossible to hide negative emotions during some of the very situations when it would be best, or more appropriate, to repress such feelings.

This is just one of the endless examples of how our emotions can manifest in physical ways.  I’m sure that it’s not necessary to elaborate on the effect that the events surrounding the arrival of today’s stress rash have had on my pain levels.  To be honest, I would be thrilled to experience the rash alone, without excruciating pain flare ups and an inability to eat.  😢

Depression

This is SO true and definitely hits home for me. Depression, severe anxiety, and panic attacks have taken hold of me again and have haunted nearly every minute of the past month or maybe longer. I used to hide it well, with the help of medication and willpower, but those are both failing right now and those around me have finally noticed. They have noticed a change in my physical appearance too, as I can’t maintain a healthy weight and look dangerously thin and sick. It’s strange when your invisible illnesses become visible. I hope we can all push through the pain to enjoy the holiday weekend. 🌼💜🌼

Balancing Spoons

I like to think that I am a pretty happy person. I do my best to look at the silver lining in all situations. I laugh easily. Sometimes too easily. My jokes are corny. Sometimes I snort when I get to laughing too hard. I’m unbelievably ticklish. But even with all of that I suffer from depression. I hide it. Or I used to. Most people don’t know. That’s the way I liked it. Hidden. There’s a stigma that comes with mental illnesses. One that should not be there. A mental illness is an Illness all the same.

My depression stems from my battle with endometriosis. I take medication for it and it’s generally something I can keep at bay. But sometimes, despite my positive outlook and medication, it creeps up on me. It swallows me into a world of doubt. I start focusing on all that is negative and…

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Wow! I REALLY needed to read this right now. I have been struggling with an all-consuming and suffocating guilt which literally takes my breath away at times. Most of my guilt and regret originate from mistakes that I made years or even decades ago but somehow I have always managed to hurt those I love and cherish the most and no matter how much time passes, the scars in my heart remain. Still even more of those feelings continue to rise out of situations over which I have no control.

My anxiety and depression are at an all-time high and the panic attacks that I managed to control for years have returned with a vengeance.

If I could drill the words of this quote into my heart and mind, perhaps I could over-power and move past the pain which haunts my heart and tortures my mind.

Positive Outlooks Blog

The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change so that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger but in wisdom, understanding and love. — Jennifer Edwards

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Doctor Appointment #Infinity

Today I had a doctor appointment. Since I started blogging, I haven’t posted much about our doctor appointments but I think I should start, as they are part of our chronic pain journey which is what this blog is really about. It wasn’t exactly the way that I had planned on spending my day off, but since Veteran’s Day is a holiday where mainly only government employees are off work and I’m desperately trying to miss as little work as possible, I decided to schedule an appointment today.

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