Positive Outlooks

It is impossible to have everyone to like you, and it’s sometimes a difficult lesson to be reminded of. That’s when you just have to stand up, to take a deep breath, hold your chin up, and walk with as much grace as you can muster as you let as few tears fall as possible. And in the end, never let those that don’t like you become more important that those who love you. — Unknown

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There are many moments these days when I feel very misunderstood.  I have always been a little quirky and not exactly a social butterfly, who excels in human interaction.  Perhaps that is why I chose to stick with governmental accounting for my career.  There are no interpretations necessary when it comes to data. Things are almost always black and white.  Dealing with the social aspects of working with people however, is another issue entirely. Continue reading


The touchiest subject of them all.  Medical Insurance.  Specifically medical insurance in the United States.  Now a days of course it’s almost considered politically uncouth to bring the subject up amongst acquaintances, but I’m going there.  I can ramble off statistics about medical bills being the number one cause of bankruptcy and why it is so important to get universal health care in this country.  I could tout of all the reasons why the arguments against universal health care are ridiculous.  How if you think medical care would go down hill or waits would be longer for appointments etc. you may be delusional as we already have those issues, it’s just we have to pay for it out of our pockets. Out of pockets or out of taxes it’s all the same.  But it’s not.  It’s financial suicide for the people in this country.  Medical Insurance companies have all the…

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You Are Not Alone – Offering Support

I know that Infertility Awareness Week has come and gone but when I read the raw emotions described in this post, it was as if I was there feeling them too.

My fellow blogger’s beautiful and painful words seemed so real to me because I WAS there; I AM there; A little piece of my heart will always BE that woman, fiercely grieving, in such unimaginable pain for something she has never experienced and someone she has never met and a part of herself that feels so infinitely broken.  A loss of that magnitude doesn’t fade away.  Perhaps God has a purpose.  My heart will always bear the scars.

💜 I love this beautiful post 💜

From My Plan To His

I have a track record of not being able to stand by and watch someone suffer. While shadowing a nurse when I was in high school I nearly fainted watching a girl with a fractured pelvis get a bed bath because of the pain she was in. My first clinical day in nursing school I had to be hauled out of a room before I passed out watching the patient get an nasogastric tube inserted. I cannot tolerate people hurting.

Watching someone in the midst of infertility grief is hard for me. Part of me wants to run away and pretend that it does not exist, but I cannot. I know it exists; how terrible and lonely it is; and how few people understand the roller coaster. I know how many platitudes are offered by people who have never walked this journey.

I know I am not alone in this…

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How much stress can a person endure before they start to break; physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically?

With every blessing or moment of progress and hope, it seems as though another pending disaster is on the horizon.

I have thrown myself into exercise lately because it is something I can control. A part of my life that I can reclaim and when I do it, I feel good, in many ways. It has been helping.

Despite that positive change, there are so many things that I cannot control and that is becoming obvious at this moment.

I’ve gone from feeling feeling strong, despite my pain, to feel feeling helpless and scared, once again.

I’m turning to Yoga and Qigong in an attempt to help. Hopefully they can eventually provide an outlet for my anguish so I can meditate through the destruction and ease this feeling of impending doom.

Maybe I will go to Unity Church tomorrow, where I take the Qigong classes. There are some crises and burdens that are to heavy to bear on our own. Sometimes I believe that only that only a higher power can help lift the heavy weight and help us carry it or help carry us when we can no longer carry ourselves.