Music Monday : Run by Leona Lewis

I haven’t heard this song in a while.  When it first came out, I listened to it on repeat, A LOT.

I can be very obsessive with music, which is likely obvious through my love for and frequent posting of songs and videos by Blue October.  Even though they will always be my all-time favorite band, I do like other artists and have a passion for all music.

Heck, I even married a musician.  He hasn’t played much since we got together, almost 12 years ago, but he’s starting to rekindle that fire in himself as well.  I would love to see him start playing on a regular basis again.  I think it would be therapeutic and might even help his chronic pain (if the weight of his guitar doesn’t cause problems).

One of the things I like about this weekly feature is that it forces me to dig deep into my memory (and iPod) to look for songs to post.  Along the way I am rediscovering a lot of old music that I love but lost touch with along the way.

❤ Wishing everyone a pain free day ❤

How to manage having too much to do (with chronic pain)

I love this post! It resonates with me on so many levels. I really admire how quickly this Endo Sister has managed to work through some of the hidden (and some more obvious) struggles of chronic illness. I received my official Dx of Endometriosis at about the same time (maybe a year or so earlier) but it took a 2nd source of chronic pain (Atypical Trigeminal Neuralgia) and my husband’s cervical spine injury for me to really start to acknowledge, delve into and research our limitations and start searching for answers. I think denial took over in the early years after my Endo Dx, as well as my doctors failing to explain to me that the disease has no cure.

I successfully made it through this past work week without using any sick leave, missing any days, coming in late, or adjusting my schedule for doctor appointments, etc. This is a BIG accomplishment for me, but may seem trivial to healthy peers. In doing so, my body has been left in a terribly drained state. The dreaded Endo Fatigue has hit me hard today and I feel as though I’m walking through quick sand. I over-did things this past week and I am paying the price now. I need to learn how to better manage what little energy that I do have and this post reminded me of that fact.

I also thoroughly agree with the importance of managing our mental health along with our physical health as part of our pain management program. I am always shocked at how my (and my hubby’s) pain specialist ignores this critical element which impacts us both so much. I am definitely going to check out the link provided in this post to see if there are any sources of help available to US citizens. ❤


The differences between chronic and acute illness

On any given day I always have too much to do. There are more things to accomplish than I have hours of the day.

This was a problem for me before I got sick, but well people aren’t always forgiving about illness, but doubly so when they want work from you or expect you to meet certain commitments. People get stressed themselves and their expectations and demands grow. Basically people forget you’re ill and expect you to do as much as everyone else.

Being busy with a chronic illness is a nightmare. You have half (or less than) the energy of other people. You’re in pain all the time and you have to manage everything that life requires.

There’s no perfect solution to being busy and stressed, but the being busy while ill part? I might be able to help a little.

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I pushed myself today and it shows.  I have been stuck in a strange and unusually lengthy pain flare-up for well over a week now.  I missed some work last week but tried very, very hard to work as much as I could.  In doing so, my energy levels are depleted along with my endurance and ability to cope with the inevitable pain and fatigue.

Today was a tough day.  I collapsed in bed minutes after walking through the door upon arriving home from work yesterday.  I slept straight through the night until around 11:00 am this morning.  Not even 15 hours of sleep can eliminate my fatigue.  Ever.

We attended a memorial service for a good friend today.  It was sad but it was more of a celebration of his life and in that it was also lovely.  Afterwards we joined friends and family at a restaurant for food, drinks, and good company.  Going out is such a rarity for us, due to my hubby and I both struggling with constant pain, along with my crushing fatigue, and of course, financial constraints.  We had a great time but I was eventually reminded by my body that I was pushing myself too far.  My hubby was too.

First of all, I wore clothing that was much less comfortable than usual, complete with high-heeled shoes, which I almost NEVER wear.  I also wore normal dress pants, instead of the loose fitting yoga pants that I normally wear.  After a few hours of standing, walking around, and socializing, my abdominal pain took hold and we had to leave.

Since then, I have been on the couch with my heating pad and a bad case of swollen endo belly, complete with seemingly endless GI symptoms which have prevented me from going to sleep.  I tried once but that quickly ended about 10 trips to the bathroom ago.

I don’t regret any of it though.  We had a nice time and most importantly, we were able to support a friend, while paying respects to another.

💖 RIP Orlis 💖

Thank goodness tomorrow is Sunday so I don’t have to work because it may very well be day light before I can get some sleep.