Depression & Our Anniversary

I know the title of this blog post may seem strange.  There is really no connection between the two words except that they are both present and on my mind.

Today is our 6th wedding anniversary.  Billy and I have been together for 11 years now and our love is strong.  We have been through challenges that would be hard to imagine and many that no one knows about except for us.  Things that would test and destroy the most solid relationship but somehow our love has always pulled us through and prevailed.  I am so thankful for my husband and the unconditional love that we share.

This should be a joyous day but I cried all the way to work.  Yesterday and the day before, I cried all the way home.  Last night I sat and cried on the couch but I don’t think Billy noticed.  He has his own overwhelming struggles to deal with and I tried not to make it obvious.  Throughout my years of participation in online chronic pain, Trigeminal Neuralgia/Facial Pain, Endometriosis, and PCOS support groups, I have read and been acclimated to the very real link between chronic pain and depression.  I knew it could happen and the likelihood that it would is very high.  I have watched my husband struggle with it for years, even before the wreck and his botched surgery, but so much more afterwards.  It has been ripping him apart for what seems like forever and it appears to finally be taking hold of me.  Continue reading